The First Date and The Beginning of the Bulge

Well needless to say I was so nervous that it was the worst date ever!! I didn't hardly talk (I know!! Me, not talk?!) and I was very suspicious of him the whole time. It really wasn't fair to him. I knew that when the date was over that I had blown it. The next day he called me and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch. Really?! Awesome! And the rest, as they say is history.

2006

We have been together ever since. I ended up moving to San Antonio 5 months after the first date for a job, and he moved to San Antonio a year later. We even bought a house together. Although we were not happy, we tried to make the best of it. This is where it all started, though...the roller coaster that has engulfed my life for the past 8 years. When I met Peter I was a little heavier than I wanted to be. But we were so miserable in San Antonio that the only way I could deal with the misery was to eat and drink and engage in activities with friends where I could eat and drink even more. It was a vicious cycle and there was no possibility of it letting up. This photo was taken in 2006. We had been in our house in San Antonio for less than a year. 

My job got worse while we were in San Antonio. I was initially hired to work with a principal that I shared values and whom I felt honored to work with. She was fantastic, and still is to this day. We keep in touch and she has been invaluable to my professional life. Then shortly after this picture was taken, I was relocated (not by my will) to another campus because my "skills" were needed there. This was a horrible environment and constantly felt on the defensive. This did not help the miserableness so I continued to engage in eating and drinking to get rid of the awful feelings from not only work but in a place where I did not feel at home. Notice what is in my hand...beer to make life better...and the beer gut to match it. 

Taken in early 2008

So instead of addressing the feelings that were "satisfied" by food and drink, I decided we needed to move back to the Austin area. We put the house on the market after I got a job, and we sold the house in San Antonio and bought a house in Cedar Park. It was our dream house (or so we thought). I loved my job, I loved Peter, I loved where we lived but something was still missing because I was getting bigger and bigger and doing nothing about it. Three months after we moved there Peter's father passed away unexpectedly and the depression got worse in the house...his and mine. Even through all this we continued to love each other. 

On August 8, 2008, I married my best friend. The pictures below show us on our wedding day. Unfortunately on this day, I was the heaviest I have ever been. 

Awwwwww!!!

Who the hell is the fattie?! Oh yea, that is ME! I used this
picture as motivation.

I went to the doctor a month later for my physical and found that I now had some serious health problems. So I thought, let's just have surgery to get rid of the excess weight. The plastic surgeon said NO! (Good for him). He told me he would do it, but not until I lost some of the weight, and gave me the name of an angel who was a bariatric doctor. I made an appointment with the doctor and on October 31, 2008 I tipped the scales at almost 280 pounds. WHAT?!!! How did this happen???

So on that day my journey to get rid of the weight for good. I had a man that I loved supporting me all the way and I was bound and determined to be successful. My future posts will be about my progress, setbacks, frustrations, success stories, and everything in between. This is when Sweating With the Oldie will really start!!

In a Sea of Un-Truths

After meeting Mr. Gorgeous on that fate-filled night in the summer of 2000, I began to date (and a lot). I dated guy after guy after guy and each guy was more un-truthful than the last. It was like I was swimming in a sea full of liars!! I dated one guy, who shall be named Brian (this time to protect the guilty) who lied about his name, where he went to school, what was his major, and on and on and on. Although he was not the last guy I dated, he was one of the ones that left a bitter taste in my mouth. I could not trust, I could not believe that a guy was being up-front, and I did not know if I would ever meet someone who was truly honest.

Since I had dated so many guys in Austin after that summer of 2000, I spread my wings and was habitually dating guys in Dallas. This was even worse than dating guys in Austin! In 2002 I dated several guys who were just as dishonest as the ones in Austin and would break it off over email...real class acts. 

So fast forward to February 2, 2003, and I am truly frustrated. I remember thinking I am never, ever, ever (thanks Taylor Swift for the line) going to meet anyone. I feared that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, and that was not something that I longed for. That night I logged onto the gay-social media engine of the time. I thought that I would try my hand in Austin again and I scrolled through who was online. The engine was just updated because you could see pictures next to the profiles now! As I was scrolling, I saw none other than that Peter guy!! My heart raced, my blood was pumping, and I struggled to say something in chat that was not horrible, stupid, or dorky. We chatted for a bit and finally I said something along the lines of 'we met before at Rainbow Cattle Company...Bobby introduced us'. His response? "I'm sorry I don't remember meeting you." 

Um, excuse me? You don't remember me??! Oh great, this is going to turn out just swell!! (This was one of the rare times when my inner dialogue worked and I refrained form typing that). But still we continued chatting and by the end of the night he gave me his email address. A couple of weeks earlier a friend told  that he would get email addresses for guys he wanted to date, emailed them with his phone number and left it up to the guy to see if he wanted to call or return the email. So I thought...what the hell...nothing else was working...let's try that.  But do I email him right away? Do I email him that night?? What to do, what to do....

Oh hell, let's just fire off an email saying how much I enjoyed our chat and give him my number. I checked my email before going to work the next day and hoped for a return email from this Peter guy...no luck. I was heartbroken, but not completely sad because I had enjoyed myself so much just getting to know him. That evening, nothing. The next morning nothing. But Tuesday afternoon I came home and voila...an email was waiting for me. "I will try and give you a call Wednesday night after work. I get off at 9:00".

Woo Hoo!!  That was tomorrow!!! Let's just say I was a wreck Tuesday night and Wednesday So at about 9:15 he calls...we chat just like we did online and it was great. He was laughing, I was making him laugh, the charm was a-workin'!! And then there it was..."What are you doing Friday night?" Wait...He just asked me out!  Don't fuck this up, Darrel...whatever you do DO NOT FUCK THIS UP!!! I casually agree to go out with him and we end the phone conversation. I remember thinking to myself, please God, please do not let this one be another ship in the sea of un-truths. 

Little Did I Know

OK so we are going to start this off by saying one thing...I am not the best writer in the world. If you are expecting some literary masterpiece, you might want to keep searching other blogs...cuz this ain't it!!! This is just me, talking, like I am right there with you telling my story.

Well you might wonder why I am even starting this blog; hell I wonder why I am writing this blog. It's an opportunity for me to write things down, and maybe someone else will read it and least think it is somewhat interesting.

The focus of this blog will be about my life for the past 12 years or so. Now most of you know me well enough to know that I got married in 1990 to the person who I thought was my soulmate...Well, let's just say THAT did not work out so great. First of all, I married a woman. Second of all, I had lost myself and no longer wanted to be in a world where my opinion or thoughts was just second to what everyone else. Finally, I still had a part of my life to go through that I (at that time) did not believe even existed. We got divorced in 1992 and I spent the next 6 years trying to figure out if I was, in fact, gay.


Well, yep, you guessed it...rainbow city with glittery, unicorns, and butterflies. In 1998 I went to my first gay bar, Splash, in Austin, Texas, and it was the first time I had gone to a bar where I felt like I belonged (somewhat). In June of 2000 I met the man of my dreams. I was at the Rainbow Cattle Company (those who remember it can still smell the awful left-over smoke smell and remember the warm beer), and I was with a group of friends. I left that group because in walked this good-looking man with another  friend of mine. To protect the guilty, let's call my friend Bobby. I made small talk with Bobby. During our conversation I made the comment "that guy over there is so hot".


Bobby said "Who, Peter?"

"Well I don't know what his name is, but yes, him," I retorted. (Now here is where some of you may think how can this old fart remember a conversation from 12 years ago, but believe me I remember these words!)

Before I knew it, Bobby yelled, "Hey Peter, come over here!" I was mortified. This good looking guy was standing right in front of me. Bobby introduced us and left us two to talk alone. Left??! What the hell?? Who does that?! I was ready to strangle him, but was grateful for the opportunity to talk to this guy. We talked for a few minutes and then this Peter guy excused himself. I went back over to join the group of friends I came with and said, "I will never see that guy again." Little did I know how life would turn out.