The First Month of Hell and Beyond

October 1, 2012
I went back to the doctor on this day. I weighed a lot more than I wanted to. She told me to get back on my diet, get back to exercising, not step on the scale, and do my best until I saw her again. My meal plan goes something like this:

Breakfast at about 7 am....100 calorie protein shake

Mid morning snack at 9:30.....another 100 calorie protein shake or nonfat plain greek yogurt with fruit, but only the low glycemic kind (all tart fruits)...fruit only 3 times a week

Lunch at 12:00...about 540-600 calories including 2 starches, salad, 2 cups cooked vegetables and 4-5 ounces of protein

Mid afternoon snack at 3:00....100 calorie protein shake or 160 protein bar that she sells at her office

Dinner at 6:00 about 600 calories including salad, 2 cups cooked vegetables and 6 ounces of protein -- no carbs after mid afternoon snack

Evening snack....100 calorie protein shake

Now that is 1600 calories for a man my size....this was not gonna be easy. (For those that wanna try and adapt this, cut back your calories at lunch and dinner...especially women who should be at about 1200 calories a day if you are trying to lose weight) Oh and I did not listen to her about the scale; I mean after all, what did she know...HA!...so here we go with a little run-down of how October went.

October 1-7, 2012

• started eating better - kept calories under 1600 except for one day
• was only supposed to have one treat item but ended up having a treat meal
• primarily did cardio and not weigh training
• was supposed to cut back on alcohol and I did, but still was twice as much as she recommended
• stepped on the scale and had lost 2 pounds...ok, not bad

October 8-14, 2012

• really focused on the eating - kept calories under 1600 except for treat dish
• started going back to the gym regularly - weights and cardio with interval training
• cut way back on the alcohol - only 3 drinks (and for those that know me, I KNOW! Can you believe it!!)
• only had 1 treat item and not a treat meal
• stepped on the scale and had lost 4 more pounds...hey!!!

October 15-21, 2012

• stayed focused on the eating - kept calories under 1600 per day
• was exercising regularly- 4-5 times that week with weights and interval training
• cut back on the alcohol-again only 3 per week
• had pizza and a cupcake as my treat
• stepped on the scale and had gained a pound!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!! I worked so hard (except for the pizza and cupcake)...At that point I decided not to step on the scale until I went back to the doctor on October 29

October 22-28, 2012

• really focused on the eating - all days under 1600
• started going back to the gym regularly - 5 days of exercising - still hate it though
• cut way back on the alcohol - stayed within the 3 per week
• only had 1 treat item and not a treat meal
• did not step on the scale

October 29, 2012 (Why are some dates bolded?? These are weigh-in dates).

I went to the doctor and I was terrified. She gave me a goal of 10-12 pounds. I knew there was no way I was going to make it, especially after gaining a pound during the week of October 15. And being very goal-oriented and goal-driven, I was in panic mode. My appointment was at 8:30. I went in with the medical assistant. She said my blood pressure was up (no seriously, it was 124 over 90...AND I take blood pressure medicine!!) and I was very, very nervous. Her assistant then instructed me to take off my shoes and socks and step on the scale. It was the moment of reckoning. I refused to look at the scale until it beeped. I closed my eyes closed and waited for the beep. I opened one eye and looked down at the number. 

Wait....did that say what I thought it said???!!! Awesome!! I did not reach the 10 pound mark, but I had lost 8.5 pounds, the leading digit was a 2 and the tens digit was ALSO a 2, and I was as happy as a witch in a broom factory. The next part was to go talk to the doctor. We talked about the next month and my plans for birthday, thanksgiving, and such, and she set a new goal for me...this time only 6-8 pounds. I got this!!!

October 29-November 4, 2012

This was a very, very good week. I was pumped, I was motivated, I hit my calorie target every day, I was under on my alcohol consumption, and I was enjoying when I exercised again (this had not happened since 2009). Hell I even incorporated jogging and running back into my exercise routine.

I did not step on the scale, but the funniest thing happened when I put on my shorts on Sunday....they fell off! Now this is monumental because when I started with the doctor I was on the fourth notch on my belt...Now a month later I was between the 5th and 6th notch...That is my next landmark...6 notches on the belt. I am feeling great, and I am truly motivated to keep going.

My biggest obstacle is that mother trucking scale...I want to get on so bad, but I don't because I am convinced that I will be disappointed and become discouraged. It taunts me. Every time I step into that bathroom there seems to be a huge sign over it that says "Go ahead, just see how much progress you've made!" I have even tried moving it to the another restroom, but it still calls me my name out, kind of like "The call is coming from inside the house" kinda call too!

I will stay strong. I can do this! I go back to the doctor the day after Thanksgiving, so it is my job to work extra hard between now and November 26th to get the result that I want to get. I will hit at least 6 pounds gone!

The Many Faces of a Fat Oldie

Taken in 2008 right after we got married and before I started making an effort. Although this was a very cheesy picture, it kinda explained a lot about my love for food. Tipping the scale at well over 270 pounds didn't seem to bother me, either.

A month later in November, 2008 I had dropped 17 pounds and felt really good about the progress that I had made, but I knew it was far from over.

December 31, 2008. After 2 months I was already down 33 pounds. It was surreal how the weight was dropping off...all with the help of the wonderful doctor.

February, 2009... I was down 42 pounds

Summer 2009 I was down 55 pounds

And on my 40th birthday (11/19/09), I had a lost a total of 59 pounds. (This was taken on November 21, 2009, so actually I was probably only down 57 pounds by then, but hey...) I felt good about myself. I was happier than I had every been, and I was looking forward to my new lease on life. I was bound and determined to keep it off. Well, that was my plan....

For the next 9 months I slowly put on 13 more pounds. But it was OK, I was still close to 10 pounds from the least I had weighed. I really wanted to lose 5 of those pounds, but I kept telling myself it was water weight.

Then in 2011 and into the rest of 2012, I slowly put on 12 more pounds. In September of 2012 I had put back on 25 pounds without even thinking about it. I was so frustrated. How in the hell did I let this happen again? When I stepped back on the scale and the first digit was a 2 and the second digit was a 4, I was like enough is enough!!! (If you look at the picture above and the picture to the right, you can tell the 25 pounds was in my face...a lot).

So on October 1, 2012, I went back to the bariatric doctor. Since the 27th of September I had lost 4 pounds and the scale no longer had a 2 and a 4, but a 2 and a 3...better, but not great. We talked about food again, she adjusted my diet, gave me tips to get me back on track, and actually praised me. She said something really profound that I was actually amazed about. She said "you had 39 years to learn bad eating habits...don't be so hard on yourself if you can't change it in 4 years time!" WOW...this woman was pure genius!!

But nevertheless I left her office with supplements, plenty of protein shakes, WHICH I will address in a later entry, and a diet plan for me to stick to. Oh yea, and a goal for the next month of losing 10-12 pounds. Now I had lost 17 pounds in the first month back when I first tried to lose weight, so I thought this was totally do-able. But this time around, it was not so easy! This is me on my current journey.

Now you have 4 entries with the background story. The rest of my entries from here on out will be my successes, struggles, frustrations, and celebrations as I try to reach my goal. Now although I would LOOOOOOVE to lose 27 more pounds after today, I will be fine if I can lose as much weight as possible by February 7, 2013 (look back to past posts and see if you can figure out why...oh yea, and we are going on a cruise on February 9, 2013, and I wanna feel good). So here we go folks...